13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do by Amy Morin

Own Your Family
Own Your Family
13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do by Amy Morin
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True to its title, Amy Morin’s “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do” lists all the things mentally strong parents avoid doing. The book also explains how steering clear of these unhealthy – but popular – parenting habits can help anyone raise self-assured, happy, and successful children.

The 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do are: they don’t condone a victim mentality, they don’t parent out of guilt, they don’t make their children the center of the universe, they don’t allow fear to dictate their choices, they don’t give their children power over them, they don’t expect perfection, they don’t let their children avoid responsibility, they don’t shield their children from pain, they don’t feel responsible for their children’s emotions, they don’t prevent their children from making mistakes, they don’t confuse discipline with punishment, they don’t take shortcuts to avoid discomfort, and they don’t lose sight of their values.

Who is it for?

Best suited for parents who want to raise mentally strong children and prepare them for a better, brighter future.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do by Amy Morin book summary

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In “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do” you’ll learn:

  1. Which are the three components of mental strength.
  2. Why your children shouldn’t be the center of your universe.
  3. What the difference is between discipline and punishment.

The 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do are

  1. They don’t condone a victim mentality,
  2. they don’t parent out of guilt,
  3. they don’t make their children the center of the universe,
  4. they don’t allow fear to dictate their choices,
  5. they don’t give their children power over them,
  6. they don’t expect perfection,
  7. they don’t let their children avoid responsibility,
  8. they don’t shield their children from pain,
  9. they don’t feel responsible for their children’s emotions,
  10. they don’t prevent their children from making mistakes,
  11. they don’t confuse discipline with punishment,
  12. they don’t take shortcuts to avoid discomfort,
  13. and they don’t lose sight of their values.

Amy Morin’s biography

Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, college psychology instructor, and psychotherapist. A regular contributor to Forbes and Psychology Today, she made her name with “The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong,” one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time. She is the author of three books> “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do”, and “13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do.”

Read, watch or listen to more book summaries for parenting. Go to our book summary of: How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Julie King and Joanna Faber.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do book review

This was an unexpected great summer read. I feel much more empowered in my parenting right now, and I feel much more confident that as I keep practicing the suggestions in the book that I send two very strong boys out into the World. Thank you for writing such a needed Book Amy. One surprising bonus is that as a result of reading this book, I have a better understanding about the adults that I know! This is a book that is certain to be helpful for years to come. These are my sons, ages six and eighteen.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do book summary

Raising kids who grow up to be responsible adults isn’t about giving them more stuff. It’s about not doing certain things that prevent them from becoming responsible adults.

To raise mentally healthy children, parents must stop doing things that rob them of their mental health.

Of course, helping children develop mental muscles takes patience and effort. It requires parents to be mentally fit as well. Seeing kids struggle, pushing them towards their fears, and holding kids accountable for their mistakes is difficult. However, these are the kinds of experiences children need to grow up to become successful adults.

If parents want to help their kids become happy, successful adults, they need to avoid these 13 things.

1. They don’t condone a “victim mentality” getting cut from the soccer team, or failing a class doesn’t make your child a victim; rejection, failure, and unfair treatment are part of life. Children who feel sorry for themselves may grow up to be weak adults who blame others for their problems instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. Parents should not let their children have pity parties or exaggerate hardships. Instead, they should teach their children how to deal with adversity and develop coping skills so that they can face challenges head-on.

2. They Don’t Parent Out Of Guilt Guilty feelings can lead to a lot of unhealthy parenting strategies. For example, giving in to your child because you feel bad about saying no or indulging them during the holiday season. Mentally strong parents recognize that although guilt is unpleasant, it’s bearable. They refuse to allow their guilty feelings get in their way of making smart decisions.

3. They Don’t Let Themselves Be Taken For Granted Kids should know that they aren’t the center of the universe. They shouldn’t feel entitled to everything just because they exist. Strong parents help their children see how much they contribute to the world every day.

4. They Don’t Let Fear Control Their Decisions Keeping your child inside a protected environment may prevent them from experiencing new things. However, having children who aren’t afraid to try new things can help them grow mentally stronger. Mature parents see themselves as guides and not protectors. They believe they should teach their children how to navigate through dangerous situations without being scared.

5. Parents should not give their children power over them. Children who control what they do and where they go can end up being mentally unhealthy. Being more like equals or bosses doesn’t help either.

6. They don’t expect perfection. High expectations are healthy, But expecting too much from kids can backfire. Mentally Strong Parents Recognize That Their Kids Are Not Going To Excel At Everything They Do. Rather Than Push Them To Be Better Than Everyone Else, Focus On Helping Them Become The Best Versions Of Themselves.

7. Parents do not let their child avoid responsibility. Children should be expected to help out around the house. When they can, they should begin learning how to cook, clean, shop, pay bills, and so forth. These tasks are part of life, and parents should make sure their children understand what they mean before letting them go off into the world.

8. They Don’t Shield Their Child From Pain. It’s tough to watch kids struggle. With hurt feelings or anxiety. And, kids need practice and firsthand experience tolerating discomfort. Strong parents give their kids the support and help they require to cope with pain. So their kids can get confident in their ability to handle whatever hardships life throws their ways.

9. Parents should not try to make their kids feel better when they’re upset. Regulating your child’s feelings prevents him/her from developing self-control and independence. When you help your kid deal with his/her feelings, he/she learns to control them himself/herself.

Mistakes are inevitable – whether your child makes a mistake on her math homework or forgets to bring her soccer shoes for practice, mistakes are part of growing up. Strong parents don’t prevent their children from making mistakes; instead, they help their children learn from their mistakes.

11. They Don’t confuse discipline with punishment. Punishment is about making children suffer for their wrongdoings. Disciplines are about teaching them how to behave better in the future. While strong parents do hand out punishments, their ultimate goal is not to punish their children; rather, they’re trying to help them learn how to act responsibly.

12. They don’t take shortcuts to avoid discomfort. When a child whines or does their children’s chores for them, they’re fast and easy. But taking shortcuts teaches kids bad habits. It takes mental fortitude to endure discomfort and avoid those tempting shortcuts.

13. Today’s busy lifestyles can make it difficult to maintain your priorities. However, those who live by their values find ways to balance work and play. By doing so, they create a lifestyle that allows them to enjoy both aspects of life without getting caught up in the daily grind.

Concluding

Mental health issues are common among teens. According to the National Institute for Health, one out of four adolescents experience depression at some point during their teenage years. Teens may be reluctant to seek treatment for their symptoms, especially when they feel embarrassed about their feelings. 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do provides information about the signs and symptoms of depression, along with advice on how to talk to your child about his/her mood changes.

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