How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

“How To Win Friends and Influence People?” by Dale Carnegie is one of the most successful and influential books ever written. True to its title, it offers a plethora of advice on how to exploit friendships for the sake of personal gain and how to change other people’s behavior by changing your own behavior toward them.

Who is it for?

Best suited for people whose jobs involve dealing with other people – such as leaders, managers, marketers, negotiators, politicians, and teachers.

In “How To Win Friends and Influence People?” you’ll learn:

Which is the most frequently used word in telephone conversations.
What Theodore Roosevelt did before the arrival of his guests at the West Wing.
What an ancient Chinese proverb and Socrates have in common.

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Dale Carnegie’s biography

Dale Carnegie was an American lecturer and bestselling author, one of the pioneers in the field of self-improvement, corporate training, and public speaking guidance. He wrote a dozen books and about as many course booklets, including the all-time bestsellers “How To Win Friends and Influence People,” and “The Quick and Easy Way To Effective Speaking.”

Read, watch or listen to more books from Dale Carnegie. Go to our other book summary of Dale Carnegie.

How To Win Friends and Influence People Reviews

This book seems to be written by someone who wants to help you improve your communication skills. There are many ways to communicate effectively, but there is only one right way. You should use honesty and ethics when interacting with other people. When you treat others well, they will return the favor. And if you follow the Golden Rule, you’ll get along with everyone.

If you follow the Golden Rule, you’ll get along with everyone

Dale Carnegie

This book was surprising to me because it seems almost timeless. People still want the same things they’ve had since time began. Asy to understand advice for developing friendships and building and improving relationships with people in all aspects of your life. Not necessarily a book for making friends, although you could use it that way. But more specifically a book that encourages good communication, kindness, honesty, and the social skills necessary to create healthy and productive work relationships.

How To Win Friends and Influence People Book Summary

How to win friends and influence people is an important book that teaches us how to be successful. It is a classic book that everyone should read.

There are three fundamental techniques for handling people: listening, talking, and writing

People fear being condemned by others. They want to be approved by others. They dread being criticized by others. They want others to approve of them. They want others to praise them. They want others’ approval. They want others to admire them. They want others’ admiration. They want others to envy them. They want others to envy them. They want other people to think highly of them. They want other peoples’ high opinion of them. They want to be admired by others. They want other people’s admiration. They want to be envied by others. They want people to envy them. They desire to be envied by other people. They want to

  • Don’t criticize, condemn, or complaint. In the 1950s B.F. Skinner proved, through experimental studies, that an animal punished by a trainer for bad behavior is a much worse apprentice than one who is praised for good performance. The very same holds true for humans. Criticism demoralizes and disheartened. Criticizing or criticizing someone for anything will rarely lead to the desired behavior. Instead, it will usually result in the opposite effect.
  • Appreciation is an important part of life. We should appreciate our friends, family, and teachers. Praise encourages people to do better. Don’t praise someone if you’re not sincere. Be specific and loving in your praise.
  • Arouse in the other person a keen desire. Find a way to combine their desires with yours. Handle people by combining their wants with your desires, and you’ll be sure to win.

There are six ways to make people like us.

People use the pronoun I more than any other word. When we talk about ourselves, we say things like, “I am going to the store,” or “I am going to work tomorrow.” We also use the pronoun I when we talk about others. For example, we might say, “He is very nice” or “She is a good friend.” But if we want to be liked, we should talk about others instead of ourselves. So, here’s what you do:1) Talk about someone else.

  • You can make more friends in 2 months by being interested in others than in 2 years by making them interested about you.
  • People love to be around happy people. Happy people make others feel better about themselves. Happy people also make others want to help them. Happy people are always smiling.
  • A person’s name is the sweetest and most valuable thing about them. By remembering someone’s name, you can make them feel important and valued.
  • Be a good listener. Encouraging others to talk about themselves is a great way to get to know them better. People want someone who’ll just listen to them. Listen to what they say, and remember: talking exposes’ disinterest, while listening shows that you care.
  • Theodore Roosevelt was a great president who loved nature and conservation. He was also a very successful hunter. He had many friends and supporters. He was a man of action and a leader.
  • Most people you meet feel themselves to be superior to you in some respect. A sure way to their hearts (and yours) is to let them know that you recognize their importance and recognize it sincerely.

There are twelve ways to win people to our way of thinking.

People who think differently than you do are wrong. You need to convince them otherwise. How to win friends and influence people advice:

  • Avoiding arguments is the best way to win them. Even if you win them, your opponent will probably lose you.
  • Respect others’ opinions. Don’t say “you’re wrong” or “I’m going to prove so-so to you”. You’ll be seen as arrogant. Use diplomacy instead.
  • Don’t be afraid to admit you’re wrong. You’ll get more respect if you do it quickly and firmly.
  • A drop of honey can catch many flies. People are receptive only when they’re friendly.
  • Socrates’ whole philosophy was based on winning admissions from his opponents. He used the Socratic method to win over his students.
  • People who want to win over others should ask questions instead of giving answers. This is because people usually know more about their problems than you do.
  • Don’t force your opinion on others. Allow them to come up with their own ideas. You’ll be happier if you let them do this.
  • I’m sorry, but you’re being unreasonable. You’re being irrational. You’re being selfish. You’re being stupid. You’re being an idiot. You’re being a moron. You’re being a jerk. You’re being a dick. You’re being a bastard. You’re being a prick. You’re being a twit. You’re being a dork. You’re being a turd. You’re being a cunt. You’re being a bitch. You’re being a slut. You’re being a whore.
  • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. If you’re having an argument, try to understand why the other person feels the way he does. If you think you might be wrong, ask yourself if you’d feel the same way.
  • People who are immoral often think they’re doing something noble. You can use this fact to persuade them to follow your ideas.
  • Dramatizing your ideas is important. Showmanship is needed to make your ideas more interesting. Movies and television do this. You should too.
  • A challenge is something that requires effort. Someone who gives you a challenge will usually be willing to work hard to complete it. You can use this fact to your advantage when giving people challenges.

Nine ways to lead and change people

A combination of charm and the correct amount of compliments can help you get people to do your bidding. Good leaders know how to use this skill to get others to follow them. How to win friends and influence people tips:

  • Praise and appreciation are important to people who want to be liked by others. People who are praised and appreciated feel better about themselves.
  • People should be praised publicly, but criticized privately. Don’t point out other people’s mistakes directly. Instead, guide them to do better by praising them in public and criticizing them in private.
  • Don’t criticize others until you’ve admitted your own mistakes. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel after doing this.
  • Ask questions instead of giving direct commands. People don’t like taking orders. Suggestions encourage cooperation instead of rebellion. Demolish others’ confidence by giving them orders.
  • People who cause others to lose face are criminals. Nobody likes a dent in their pride.
  • Praise people when they do well. This will encourage them to work harder.
  • A dog‘s reputation is important to him. He wants to be known as a good dog. He doesn’t want to be called a bad dog. He wants to be praised by people. He wants to be loved by people. He wants others to think well of him.
  • The first thing I did was to make the problem seem easy to solve. I told him he was stupid because he didn’t know how to do something. Then I made it seem like he could learn how to do it if he tried hard enough. He was motivated to try harder.
  • Good leaders should always try to make others happy. This will help them get things done.

How To Win Friends and Influence People with these nine ways.


The How To Win Friends and Influence People book is about how to win friends and influence people. It is the most successful and influential self-help book.

People are emotional creatures who are easily swayed by others’ emotions. Be sincere, be empathetic, be friendly, and encourage people to do what you want them to do.

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