Don Miguel Ruiz is convinced that Toltec wisdom can heal our wounded emotional lives. He believes we have created a world of emotional disease and pain. The only way to overcome this is to see the world around us for what it is: a big, collective dream. In “The Mastery of Love,” Ruiz provides a guide on how to heal our broken relationships and our broken selves.
Watch the full episode of The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by Don Miguel Ruiz
Who is it for?
Best suited for fans of New Thought, people unhappy in their relationships, spiritualists, and shamanists.
In The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship, you’ll learn:
- Why we live in a world of emotional disease.
- How to have the perfect relationship.
- How to overcome traumatic events such as rape.
Don Miguel Ruiz’s Biography
Don Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican author of Toltec spiritualist and neoshamanistic texts. Members of the New Thought movement primarily focused on old teachings, meat to achieve spiritual enlightenment, appreciate and follow his work. The youngest of 13 siblings, Ruiz had a near-death experience that made him rethink his career as a surgeon. His most popular work, “The Four Agreements,” sold millions of copies and was translated into 46 languages.
The Mastery of Love Book
The Mastery of Love Book Reading
The Mastery of Love is a book about how to heal your emotional wounds and become a master lover. It explains why most of us are wounded emotionally because of our false beliefs and how to heal them using the power of love and compassion.
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book
Have you ever wondered why we judge ourselves for every little thing we do?
Most relationships lack happiness because they’re not built on mutual respect.
How do we create self-love?
This book summary will provide answers to such questions.
Here are some of the best lessons I learned in this book: The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz.
So without further ado…
Let’s dive right in!
Lesson #1 – We’re all mentally sick and wounded because of our false beliefs and opinions.
It might sound harsh.
But it’s the truth.
He says that we all have a mental illness.
But the irony here lies in the fact that it’s invisible to the naked eye.
Only wise people can see through our thick skulls.
Our minds are filled with fear, guilt, shame and self-judgements.
And all of this thinking is so deeply ingrained into our brains that we believe that what our thoughts are true.
We carry those false beliefs in our minds and try to convince others of them.
Mental illness is contagious.
It spreads like crazy.
We often talk about other diseases and treat them seriously, but we never realize the most prominent condition in history.
It’s a mental illness that has brought suffering to humankind.
Most new physical illnesses are caused by our mental illness or stupidity
We’re not supposed to be this selfish.
We are born to be happy. We are born to be beautiful.
Are we like that?
Are we all blissfully happy and enlightened?
I doubt so…
We’re afraid to think about whether our ideas are true or not.
And this fear keeps us from doing things we want to do. It makes us mentally weak.
Why can’t our minds be like three-year-old kids?
Why can’t we feel empty, light, and playful inside our minds?
This inquiry concludes that we are holding onto false beliefs.
We are ruled by our beliefs. We don’t see the truth because we are blinded by them.
We’re all beautiful in our own way.
But our knowledge tells us that we lack something; therefore, we don’t merit happiness.
Just watch an adult. They all have something they don’t tell others.
With experience, we’ve learned that vulnerability is weakness
Everybody lies because LYING sometimes makes us vulnerable.
Speaking the truth makes us vulnerable because we expose ourselves to criticism.
That’s why there is a huge mess in our minds that we don’t want to accept.
There is self-criticism and self-judgment.
Respect and power mean everything at one time or another in our lives.
We blindly pursue them without realizing which tendencies in our minds are working behind these.
We create fake personalities so we can gain respect in society.
That’s why there are so many fake people in the real world.
We don’t get satisfied with just one fake image.
There are many…
One for school, One for office, One for friends, One for family, One for ourselves, etc.
And guess what do these images bring us? Suffering.
If you just focus your attention on who you really are, you won’t bring any unnecessary suffering to yourself.
It’s not that you won’t ever suffer if you just stop thinking about yourself.
We all need to stop hurting each other. We should focus on helping others instead of causing them harm.
Why invite more conflict and drama into our lives when we could be living a peaceful life?
We shouldn’t pretend what we aren’t.
Who will heal all the mental wounds that we or our society have inflicted on ourselves or others?
Will God heal them?
Can we heal them ourselves?
Someone has to be responsible for it.
We shouldn’t always be victims.
Related summary: Freedom from the Known by J Krishnamurthy
Lesson #2 – The sense of injustice takes the innocence out of children
The second chapter discusses the domestication of children, which is the process by which children become accustomed to living in a household.
A newborn baby is full of innocence and pure love.
By the time he becomes a teen, his parents and society start throwing out their opinions on him.
There is no denying that there is a lot injustice in this world.
People who are bad have an unfair advantage over people who are good.
People who don’t deserve power have all the power in their hands.
By the word ‘power,’ I mean money and capital, not just any kind of power.
People who prefer truth will always be hated. No matter what they say, they will never get any
We fear the truth. We hide behind the lies. That’s why we need to tell the truth.
Children who witness acts of injustice gradually lose their innocence.
Which is not a good thing, or is it.
Kids see their parents fight over silly things.
And then those same children are taught that fighting is wrong.
This creates a conflict between their minds.
They don’t understand such concepts.
Guess what happens then?
We remember how we felt when we were children. We don’t remember what we learned. We remember our emotions.
Emotions usually win out over logic.
Emotions aren’t bad.
It’s not that we always follow our emotions; rather, when there is a conflict between emotions and logic we tend to go along more with our emotions.
When a child feels a sense of injustice, he gets an emotional wound. He may cry, scream, throw a tantrum, or even hit someone. These reactions are all signs of an emotional wound. An emotional wound is
And that wound keeps getting bigger over time.
As soon as he becomes an adult, she loses her love for him.
He has forgotten who he really is.
One of the reasons why adults find it difficult to trust others is because they don’t know them well enough.
Just think about it…
We learn how to lie by lying.
Where do we learn about right and wrong?
We get it from our parents.
And these concepts take away our innocence.
Emotional wounds produce a sense of fear, guilt, and shame within us.
Related summary: The happiness trap by Russ Harris
The author discusses happiness and relationships in the third chapter.
Let’s start by talking about happiness.
It’s often difficult to feel happy.
They think that happiness lies outside themselves.
They hunt for it. They eat products. They look for others to satisfy their need for joy.
They never find happiness because they are not happy. Happiness is an emotion that comes from within. You cannot force someone else to feel happy.
The question is:
Is there any point in finding happiness?
Happiness isn’t just a human need. Happiness is an emotion. And
But the concepts we think we know about happiness are wrong.
We are all born with a natural desire to be happy. We are also born with a natural desire for freedom. These two desires are at odds with each other. Happiness requires conformity, while freedom requires independence. But if you are unhappy, you will never be free. You must first become aware of your unhappiness before you can change it.
We don’t expect to find it.
The point is:
If we just realize it, happiness is in our nature.
Don’t put your happiness in other peoples’ hands.
Because when you’re trying to find happiness outside yourself, you’re looking in the wrong place
And trusting other people to be happy for you is a big mistake because you can make them unhappy if you don’t meet their needs.
If two people look for happiness outside themselves in any relationship, they’ll find more pain.
Your happiness is your company’s success.
Only you can take good care of it.
Don’t let others decide for you when it comes to your happiness.
Don’t expect the other person to be happy for you.
A healthy relationships is one where two or three people have free will. No one is obligated to anything.
When you expect something from someone else, you lose your freedom. You need to give up some of your own choices and preferences. If you’re not careful, you
When you compromise, you lose some happiness.
Another thing is:
Happiness shouldn’t be the priority. Blissfully living is better.
Happiness is still the feeling of pleasure you get from doing something.
When your desire is satisfied, you feel happy.
But it’ll still be short-term thinking.
Bliss is an experience. It is not something you can buy. You cannot buy happiness. Happiness is something you create. It is not something that comes to you
When you realize that your true self is to love, you become blissful.
You’re already beautiful, so don’t worry about it.
False ideas that we picked up during our childhood are the cause of our ugliness.
The takeaway here is:
Stop looking for happiness outside. Happiness is already inside you if you dig deep enough and realize it.
Regardless of how much your partner loves and respects you, you cannot be truly happy if you don’t dig deeper.
Don‘t put the burden of other people’s needs and expectations on yourself. If you can, ask them to do what you need done.
Related summary: The courage to be disliked by Ichiro Kishimi
Lesson 4: Relationships aren’t perfect. Don’t try to change them all the time.
A perfect relationship is not real.
If a relationship has to be perfectly balanced, then the people involved need to be mind readers.
And we all know that it only happens in the movies: It doesn’t really happen.
You can’t be the Professor X. (Like in the X-Men movies)
Everyone has their own unique thoughts.
There is always some drama going on inside our minds.
They’re not the same.
They’re both different.
This drama is the problem. It causes conflict in any relationship.
Let me explain…
The drama is confusing. It drains your mental resources.
So there’s a little bit of energy left to understand the drama that’s going on inside your partner’s head.
There will always be differences between the two.
If you’re too involved in your drama you’ll try to fit every person and situation into that.
But your partner doesn’t have anything to do with it.
The thing is:
We get so involved with our own mess that we start changing others.
And this is pure selflessness.
We call this love surprisingly.
Love is not about self-interest. It is about giving to others. Love is about helping others.
Love is freeing. While selfishness is limiting.
Love and possessiveness are two different things.
Most people try to dominate others in the name of love, but it doesn’t work.
The reason is we’re all looking for happiness.
Happiness is a by-product when you love someone. You don’ t need to control them to achieve that.
Someone who really loves others understands and respects their differences.
He doesn’t force his drama or opinions onto others.
Another thing you should know is that:
It doesn’t mean that they hate you.
Remember that we all have mental health issues to deal with.
We don’t talk about them with other people, but they put a toll on us.
If someone is not behaving right with us, we need to understand that they are hurting inside. We need to give them more love than ever. If we don’t, then we will never get our relationship back on track.
But do you think like that? I doubt it.
We start opposing it once we hear something against our fixed ideas.
We try our best not to share our opinions.
We don’t want to get hurt.
And that’s okay in a sense. Humans are programmed to act this same way.
Still, we can take the time to change our impulsive behaviors.
When you start seeing things as one, you realize that there are differences between them.
You start feeling the emotional wounds of others.
That is love!
Love is about being selfless. It’s not about being selfish. Love is about giving your all to
Related summary: The way of the superior man by David Deida
Lesson #5 – You are the life that flows through everything in existence.
We are the life; we’re the force that runs this world.
He means that we are not merely physical beings with a mind.
When we speak like this, we enter the realm of spirituality, which is unknown to most people.
Spiritual wisdom says that you are the energy or life that underlies everything in the universe.
However, since we are so ignorant about this thing, we never realize it.
We think that we’re limited to just our bodies, but we’re not.
We believe that the problems of our mind are the greatest in the world.
It’s difficult to imagine and comprehend that our bodies are a living universe within us.
To understand this, imagine all the cells in your entire body.
Think of each cell as an individual living in a society. Each cell has its own personality, likes and dislikes. Some like to stay inside the body, others like to go out and explore the world. Some
If you try to look for God, you won’t find him anywhere.
Maybe God isn’t what we think he is.
We are the gods to billions of cells and bacteria that inhabit our bodies.
We are God to them.
This is not to satisfy your ego.
This example is to show you that life is everywhere.
If you open your mind, you’ll realize that everything is beautiful.
We are so busy creating our own drama that we don’ t even notice the beauty that exists around us.
If you have a good perspective, your life can be beautiful.
We just need to broaden our perspective.
We need to take a broader view.
Most of our problems stem from our beliefs.
Those beliefs become knowledge when they’re tested and proven.
And that knowledge causes us to think unnecessarily.
When we think something is true because we know it to be so, we take it seriously.
The best way to approach any problem is to create some distance from it.
Once you understand that you are not your thoughts, you will stop taking yourself so seriously. You will start seeing that you are just a thought in someone else’s mind. You will stop taking your emotions so seriously. You will stop taking yourself so literally. You will stop taking everything so personally. You will stop taking all of your problems so seriously.
It unlocks a way for you to live a blissful life.
When you realize that you are the whole universe, you feel complete.
You stop feeling imperfect.
Learning isn’t something you stop doing.
Don’t fall for that trap.
The point here is that you do everything with a sense that you’re doing it for the best.
That way you are deliberately learning and getting better at what you do. You are not doing it because you have to. Instead, you are doing it because you choose to.
There is a huge difference between wanting to do something and having to do something.