Family and friends are people you care about. You do anything to make them happy. You help to make things easier for them. Many people think supporting family and friends are bad for their finances. But this is not completely true at all. The fact is, when you help family and friends, you are also helping yourself. But what if your family or friend keeps on making bad money decisions? When enough is enough in terms of giving them financial help?
When to stop helping abusive family and friends financially?
Why are you always ready to help abusive family and friends financially? Supporting abusive family members financially is a common mistake. You should understand that your friend or family member is doing this to you because they can see that you are generous and kind-hearted. One of the reasons people abuse you is that they know you will keep on bailing them out of the mess they started. Remember, you are not helping someone who keeps on being financially irresponsible.
Watch the full episode of What does Dave Ramsey say about helping abusive family and friends who keep making money problems?
What does Dave Ramsey say about helping abusive family and friends who keep making money problems?
How to deal with abusive family and friends who keep asking for financial help from you?
- You need to be honest with your family and friends about your current financial situation and goals. Here’s a sample script on how to tell your financial situation to an abusive family or friend. “I am sorry to know about your situation. You are not alone. Many people have to deal with similar situations. There is one thing which you should keep in your mind. Relationships are important to us. We create them and we keep them. I am currently working on paying off my debts and building our family’s emergency funds. If you are under any obligation to others, then you should fulfill it properly. It’s time for you to straighten up your personal financial life too.”
- You need to learn to say no. If your relatives and friends think of you as a cash machine and you keep giving them money without getting anything in return, then they’ll always keep making poor choices financially. It’s not right to keep on giving or lending money to family or friends at all because this is a common way of getting into bad debt situations. If your friend or relative asks you to lend him some more money, always remember that the only reason that person is asking you for money is that he can’t get credit anywhere else. If you believe that he’s in good financial condition and he can pay you back sometime in the future, then you can lend him some money as a friend. But if you’re lending him money because you feel sorry for him, then you should stop right away. The truth is that you’ll never get that money back.
Finances are a very sensitive topic for most people, especially with family and friends. Our relationship with the people we love is precious and we should not spoil it no matter how stubborn the person is. It is a fact that we want to protect our loved ones and sometimes we forget that being rude is not the right way to do that. Never argue with a family member or friend, it will damage the relationship and make you lose the friendship and connection forever. So instead of being rude, try to say things in a polite way like “Would you mind if we could try to solve this problem in a better way?”.